WHY DO WE NEED?
I am a huge fan of romance; love songs, sad movies, heart-renching stories and the list goes on including a number of classics and love stories that keep me on my toes awaiting my love story.
Don't you ever wonder if such stories are real? Are they going to happen to us, to me, to you? I don't know but it doesn't seem very possible. Ever since I started to understand how my teenage years work, I went and completely did what I wanted to do and I fed my huge romantic heart with words, melodies and lyrics, actions situations and dramas that never occurred to ME, but to that girl/guy in that movie/song.
It always makes me want it even more. Is it healthy to want such things? It probably isn't, I doubt that it's healthy to want fake things that you can never have; there are indications however that trick us into believing that there is a happy romantic ending. I hate the word ending really, I don't think it's the ending we're after, and it’s the actual life that we work so hard to get to.
Why can't we be satisfied with a marriage to a good person, a decent person who tries to understand you? Do you need the big romance with the romantic fairytale-ish love story and the romantic phrase (I can't live my life without you), or the love songs that never end about how much he/she loves you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you.
This isn't about me, or about how bitter this sounds; I am actually not bitter or sad or anything of that sort, (I am even listening to a love song right now) I am just trying to understand why we want such a disaster that we understand nothing about. Such a life that is as unpredictable as the weather in Australia. But then again, life is not and that's the way it should be.
Shouldn't we look for understanding and respect and equality in whichever partnership we choose to pursue? Shouldn't marriage be a complete understanding of each other’s needs instead of why he/she forgot to turn the lights off when you left the house?
What is our purpose???
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Yesterday, tomorrow and today
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. but Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the present
The way life changes every single day makes me question the opinions I make every day. My mind is always dead set about the opinions I have. I consider myself moderately wise in the choices I make from time to time as they are mine and I take full responsibility for the stuff that come out of my mouth. But at the rate I am changing in order to keep up with life and everyone around me, I can SEE myself change and I can't stop the changes. I am not sure I even want to stop changing as long as it's to the better!
I am currently perusing my higher education abroad and have completed one semester. Going into the experience I was very confident and knew I wouldn't have problems getting used to the new world but I was very wrong and it was very difficult to accept my weaknesses so I was just depressed for some time and I didn't feel the need to do anything about it.
Now that I've done it, I feel confident that I can handle it when my life gets rough. NOT just because I am confident about ME, but because I am confident that if I do face problems, I know that I NEED to DEAL with them and not pretend I can just ignore them until they go away. They won't go away, and I have to face them full on. THAT i CAN do :)
I have also realized that there is more to life than what I do everyday and that I need to pursue my dreams just as much as I did my higher education!
I have a few plans and dreams up my sleeves.. there's no time like now to go after them!
Wish me luck.. but more so, wish me knowledge and experience!
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. but Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the present
The way life changes every single day makes me question the opinions I make every day. My mind is always dead set about the opinions I have. I consider myself moderately wise in the choices I make from time to time as they are mine and I take full responsibility for the stuff that come out of my mouth. But at the rate I am changing in order to keep up with life and everyone around me, I can SEE myself change and I can't stop the changes. I am not sure I even want to stop changing as long as it's to the better!
I am currently perusing my higher education abroad and have completed one semester. Going into the experience I was very confident and knew I wouldn't have problems getting used to the new world but I was very wrong and it was very difficult to accept my weaknesses so I was just depressed for some time and I didn't feel the need to do anything about it.
Now that I've done it, I feel confident that I can handle it when my life gets rough. NOT just because I am confident about ME, but because I am confident that if I do face problems, I know that I NEED to DEAL with them and not pretend I can just ignore them until they go away. They won't go away, and I have to face them full on. THAT i CAN do :)
I have also realized that there is more to life than what I do everyday and that I need to pursue my dreams just as much as I did my higher education!
I have a few plans and dreams up my sleeves.. there's no time like now to go after them!
Wish me luck.. but more so, wish me knowledge and experience!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I realize I haven't been posting in a VERY LONG time...
So here's what happened.. Previously in MY LIFE:
- Quit My Job
- Went To Australia
- Am In Australia still
- Am Studying in Australia
- I'll be here for another Year
- I am very unhappy with my life
- I don't know how to fix it
- It's very much connected to me being overweight, actually, Obese
- I try to hide the fact that am bothered and unhappy
- It's not working out for mer
- I know it's up to me, but it's not easy
- I miss my family, my friends
- I can't wait to go back home this summer/winter in australia
- I feel soooo lonely, even though am here with one of my closest friends
- I don't write as often as I'd like to.. which bothers me very much
- I spoke with this guy I was very much in love with, and felt that my life hasn't changed to the better; it's been 4 years or so
- I am 21, almost 22
- I feel like crying all the time
- I do have a problem, no one is supposed to be this unhappy and NOT do anything about it
- I know that people are going to read this, and I honestly don't care
- This is the only place I can be completely 100% my self.. and I was never able to
- I am just talking now..
- I wish I can take charge of my life
So here's what happened.. Previously in MY LIFE:
- Quit My Job
- Went To Australia
- Am In Australia still
- Am Studying in Australia
- I'll be here for another Year
- I am very unhappy with my life
- I don't know how to fix it
- It's very much connected to me being overweight, actually, Obese
- I try to hide the fact that am bothered and unhappy
- It's not working out for mer
- I know it's up to me, but it's not easy
- I miss my family, my friends
- I can't wait to go back home this summer/winter in australia
- I feel soooo lonely, even though am here with one of my closest friends
- I don't write as often as I'd like to.. which bothers me very much
- I spoke with this guy I was very much in love with, and felt that my life hasn't changed to the better; it's been 4 years or so
- I am 21, almost 22
- I feel like crying all the time
- I do have a problem, no one is supposed to be this unhappy and NOT do anything about it
- I know that people are going to read this, and I honestly don't care
- This is the only place I can be completely 100% my self.. and I was never able to
- I am just talking now..
- I wish I can take charge of my life
Monday, September 10, 2007
I got a Job!!!!!
like what the hell, right!! I know,,, it's soo crazy that I HAVE A JOB,, and you know where,, IN A FREAKIN' Bank!!
nah, am kidding, it's pretty cool actually... and am doing well,, and it's a temp jop, untill I get my shit together and leave this country..
Yes people, I said leave the country.. IF and only IF the University Accepts me, I'll travel to study in Australia!
who would've guessed!! :P
wanted u all to know of my status :D
PEACE out!
like what the hell, right!! I know,,, it's soo crazy that I HAVE A JOB,, and you know where,, IN A FREAKIN' Bank!!
nah, am kidding, it's pretty cool actually... and am doing well,, and it's a temp jop, untill I get my shit together and leave this country..
Yes people, I said leave the country.. IF and only IF the University Accepts me, I'll travel to study in Australia!
who would've guessed!! :P
wanted u all to know of my status :D
PEACE out!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Normally, if I am feeling down, or like I want to talk about something or anything, I’d talk to my best friend or my other friend from way back. But it sorta feels like all doors are closing on me and am stuck in this room with not even one window to ventilate. Oh my god, I can’t believe I just used a metaphor!
I can’t really blame this on anyone, it just feels like what I want to say – if I do know what that is – is just not so simple, it’s not one thing that’s bottled in, it’s a couple of things piled up. Ok, it’s like when you have this desk, and you start putting papers on it, and then you try to keep it clean, and sometimes you can manage and the desk is really clean and you got all those files to keep track and keep things organized, but what I managed to do is put some more papers on and by the time I had to clean my desk, I didn’t know which paper had to go in which file, it just all gets so confusing; I know that I am not making sense anymore. But this is how I feel.
I think I am starting to resent people; more like my friends. I just feel like there’s no one there for me when I need them to be, but when someone needs me, I know full heartedly that I am 105% there for them. It feels kind of unfair. I am not perfect, I make and made mistakes, but I paid my dues and I should be able to open up to my best friends.
I’ve been getting a lot of headaches lately and I’ve been having weird dreams – I never have weird dreams btw- and it’s really starting to get annoying.
I can’t really blame this on anyone, it just feels like what I want to say – if I do know what that is – is just not so simple, it’s not one thing that’s bottled in, it’s a couple of things piled up. Ok, it’s like when you have this desk, and you start putting papers on it, and then you try to keep it clean, and sometimes you can manage and the desk is really clean and you got all those files to keep track and keep things organized, but what I managed to do is put some more papers on and by the time I had to clean my desk, I didn’t know which paper had to go in which file, it just all gets so confusing; I know that I am not making sense anymore. But this is how I feel.
I think I am starting to resent people; more like my friends. I just feel like there’s no one there for me when I need them to be, but when someone needs me, I know full heartedly that I am 105% there for them. It feels kind of unfair. I am not perfect, I make and made mistakes, but I paid my dues and I should be able to open up to my best friends.
I’ve been getting a lot of headaches lately and I’ve been having weird dreams – I never have weird dreams btw- and it’s really starting to get annoying.
Friday, May 11, 2007
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